The Frailty Myth, by Colette Dowling

hould you by chance or on purpose listen to guys talk, or read some of the ramblings in the media or on the Net about women and self-defense, you will probably discover a couple of things: The lack of knowledge, and the presence of fear. There is, it seems, a fear amongst some men (even in the martial arts community) that they might lose one of the last weapons to remain the top dogs: The (presumed) superior physical strength. Not fear, you say? How come then, that so many men seemingly goes totally mental when they "discuss" if a woman (any woman) is capable of defending herself against a man? It is a very sad, and really condescending way of arguing. It is something that many women has to confront almost daily, and something that neither of us will gain from - be it men or women.

In this outspoken and liberating book Colette Dowling takes on the myths of the weaker sex head on. In my opinion it is a book that we men really shoul digest! There are som strong opposition towards the book (from men naturally...), and the way I see it this only confirms Dowling's point of view that some men obviously are afraid of strong and independent women. Why? Are they afraid to lose an armwrestling contest, or maybe scared by the thought of having to do their own dishes?

Some folks within the male part of the martial arts community may very well say stupid things like: "I can beat that chick any time!" Dear me brothers and sisters, as if that's the point here! What we are talking about here - the whole point of Dowling's book - is the given right for any girl or women to be alowed (and welcomed to) gow stronger and wiser and better, also in the physical sense. Of course there will be men who can "beat" women, just as there will be men who can "beat" other men. But there are also women who fights on equal terms with, and also beating, guys. In this book the author proves this point in great detail. Scary for some men - very refreshing for many, including this dude right here :-)

Dowling clearely shows that the gaps in strenght and performance between the two sexes in many jobs and sports activities, comes down to practice and development of skills, more than biological differences. An interesting notion is that the distance in performance between men and women is increasingly smaller within many sports.

The author is not the least positive towards physical self-defense training for women and girls. Her view (and I support this from my own experience) is that this is a fine venue for the ladies where they can gain strength, mentally as well as physically. And my guess is that it is here that "the guys" miss a point (or several of them). The self-defense is not meant to be used on regular Joes - like you and I doing martial arts! They are reserved for the not-so-friendly attackers, rapists, stalkers, intimidaters and criminals out there. Again I have to ask: What on earth are we afraid of?

The author also has a large number of great examples and parallels. Amongst others she refers to this book by Rene Denfeld: "Kill the Body, the Head Will Fall". I can only recommend both the books here to you wholeheartedly.

This is indeed the sort of books that is truly inspiring and provoking (in a positive sense) for men and women, boys and girls. Before anyone opens their predator mouth too wide, uttering something too blatant about the possibilities for a girl to stand up in a "man's world", I suggest they read this book. Also: do spend some time to train with girls! Maybe you will find that there is more strenght within a "frail" woman than you could imagine, and maybe you will learn a valuable lesson or two... Personally I like books such as this one. But then again I always loved strong women - the stronger the better!

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